9 Ways ‘Game of Thrones’ May Have Warped Your Perception Of Reality

9 Ways ‘Game of Thrones’ May Have Warped Your Perception Of Reality

By KiddoTuesday - September 13th, 2011Categories: Awesome, Lists, Originals, Television

‘Game of Thrones’ is so enthralling and expansive a world, it has left many die-hard fans wondering where King’s Landing ends and reality begins. For the all-consumed, here are nine ways an unhealthy obsession with HBO’s best new series may have left you feeling disconnected from reality…

9. You used to think the wall along the Mexico – U.S. border was a good idea… but now you’re worried about what might be coming from The North… (Canadians = White Walkers?!?!?!)

8. Blondes, and in particular all-blonde families, are now revealed as the evil, scheming, and treacherous ne’er-do-wells they are. Oh, and they’re all incestuous. Don’t forget the incest.

7. Should you find an orphaned pack of wolves in the forest, you believe it is completely acceptable to domesticate them, and in doing so form an unspoken psychic kinship. Just like me and my little wolf’uns! *strokes rabid raccoon*

6. You are convinced that everyone you know will die terrible, untimely deaths. Everyone. (Or at least the cool people.)

5. Old people and their supposed frailness is all a sham. Hunchback? Gimpy? I’m on to you tricksters! *runs and grabs cane from old woman’s arm, tosses it like a javelin*

4. “If the milk’s flowing…”
When it comes to breast-feeding, age is only a number. Descent into madness? Pah. You’re simply fulfilling a maternally instinctual duty to provide natural nourishment to your offspring. So what if they can tie their own shoes and have adult molars? They’re your child! And you’re a crazy person.

3. Forget what you may been told that one summer while back-packing through Europe with a bunch of greek dudes you just met on the train… ‘doggy-style’ is NOT OKAY. In fact, it’s just plain mean.

2. When someone tells you something you don’t want to hear – be it true or false – the best response is to chop their head off. No one likes a complainer! And really, there’s no such thing as blue-eyed, reanimated corpses trying to eat your face and – *a loud crash and sounds of struggle* – AAAHHH!!!! It’s blue-eyed and reanimated and eating my face!!!!!!!

1. You frequently tell friends, co-workers, or anyone who will listen that you are impervious to fire… YOU. ARE. THE. DRAGON!