Review: Ryan Reynolds is “Buried”, also stars in movie

Review: Ryan Reynolds is “Buried”, also stars in movie

By KiddoMonday - October 4th, 2010Categories: Uncategorized

Buried opens as it ends – to black. In the first few minutes, Canadian actor / hero Ryan Reynolds (as Paul Conroy, a truck driver working in Iraq whose convoy is attacked and subsequently he is abducted and buried alive), gasps, wheezes and pounds the sides of his wooden cell in frustration. After the hyperventilation subsides and attempts to punch his way out prove futile, our man gets his shit together, resumes a steady breathing pace and finds a cell phone at his feet. He scans through the caller i.d. for clues but can’t seem to make sense of the funny squiggles in place where real words should be. Ha, stupid American!

Speaking with his abductor, Conroy learns that he must fulfill a ransom of 5 million dollars before 9:00 pm otherwise it’s lights out and a dirt nap. Why, 5 million dollars, the United States government can scrounge that up in the couch cushions at Camp David! Problem solved. Unfortunately, the U.S. has a no-negotiation policy on counts of terrorism, even when it comes to hostage taking. Boo! His attempts to explain to his captors that he is only a civilian contract worker fall on deaf ears – much like parents, terrorists just don’t understand. Conroy (as portrayed by Ryan Reynolds!) follows up by calling as many criminal investigative agencies in the U.S. that he can get the numbers for, even resorting to 911. Everyone makes him look like some kind of chump and he can’t get any help to save his life – literally! Have you ever been on hold in a primary calling sequence waiting for the next free representative and realized you have to use the bathroom? Yeah, he’s buried underground in a box. Think about that the next time your call’s getting transferred.

He tries to call around elsewhere but his family’s M.I.A. and some bitch friend of his wife’s don’t do shit. He’s fervently advised by everyone he speaks with not to communicate with news outlets – that somehow in doing so he would be playing into the terrorist’s hands. Finally, he gets a number for a Western agency working in Iraq. Hostage takings are commonplace round these parts and Conroy is told that they’re on the case. *cough* Bullshit! Time keeps ticking by and no one seems to have any leads. Also, I was getting hungry, despite having eaten beforehand. Something had to be done! Knowing prior to that Reynolds was in the box for the film’s entirety, I knew it was unlikely that he would be rescued. Sure enough, he wasn’t. In a remarkable twist of British bullfoonery (a term of my own coining, ah-thank-a-you) the agency follows a tip which they believe is bringing them to Conroy’s location; instead, there is the dread realization that it’s not Conroy’s grave they have found, but former failed hostage rescue Mark White. Paul Conroy is buried off somewhere else in the desert with but thirty seconds to spare and one breath left in his body. Classic!

The movie is carried almost entirely by Ryan Reynold’s charisma. He’s been receiving rave reviews for his performance, although at parts I did find myself unable to separate him from Ryan Reynolds and become immersed in the character. “Lesser men would have curled up in a ball and cried for their mothers, but this is Ryan Reynolds we’re talking about here – he went to college for seven years and co-owned a pizza place!” That being said, I also had a hard time differentiating while writing this article, as naturally I am more inclined to write five hundred words regarding Ryan Reynold’s expressive eyebrows and winning smile. But moving along; it’s a film that had a skimpy 3 million dollar budget and a lone actor in an array of wooden crates for ninety minutes – it’s not flashy, not much re-watch potential, but it did prove itself compelling fare, for the most part. The fear of being buried alive is universal and by the end of the movie the production team did a ridiculously efficient job of making Reynolds look like he had been terrified, fighting for his life for ninety minutes, six feet below ground. The suspense was a gradual build-up – I didn’t necessarily buy into it, but it was there. However, I still have some lingering questions, such as why when the crate collapsed in on him did he make any attempt to move upward?  At one point during the film he could hear music coming from above, meaning he couldn’t have been that far below ground, right? Also, looking at the long list of people who worked on this  movie in the context of the meager budget, how much was everyone paid on this thing? A tuppence?!?!

In conclusion, if you’ve got an hour and a half on your hands and 13 bucks to burn, go see Van Wilder “bite the dust”, chortle chortle.