Immediate Reactions: Kinect for 360

Immediate Reactions: Kinect for 360

By RiggzMonday - June 14th, 2010Categories: Rant, Video Games

Oh really? Women love your moves, huh? Envy of your friends?! I believe it!

Ugh… motion controls. I’d say that motion controls are to video games what the 3D fad is to movies, but I’d be ignoring the fact that games are going 3D as well. I don’t hate them, but that Microsoft and Sony think that they can steal away some of the Wii’s casual audience with motion controls of their own is retarded. And if they think that any serious gamers are clamoring for these types of control methods then they may have full on fetal alcohol syndrome. The Wii is super cheap and was first. Boom. I just figured out the mysteries behind Nintendo’s success.

Regardless… this fad is happening and with E3 in full swing I had to sit through Microsoft’s Kinect-centric press conference… here are a few immediate reactions.

– “Finally… I don’t have to use a wireless controller!”

You know what was a pretty awesome breakthrough for gaming? No wires. It’s painful to think back to a time when you’d have to sit within a few feet of a screen because the cord running from the console to your controller wasn’t long enough to reach the couch. Remember Mario Kart with four players where the first 10 minutes of the game was spent getting everything unwound? Wireless controllers are awesome. Don’t try to claim they aren’t. You won’t be selling me Kinect by explaining that now I don’t even have to press buttons to navigate my 360’s Dashboard. There’s absolutely nothing confusing moving the analog stick in the direction you want to go and pressing the A button, so stop saying that memorizing specific audio commands and hand gestures is more “intuitive”, it’s not. Also, if the aforementioned button pushing seems physically taxing for you in any way, then moving your whole arm just to log in might very well kill you.

– “Black People / Lisps Work!”

Just a funny observation. For those of you that weren’t aware, Microsoft took a lot of crap when Kinect (Natal) was first shown off because apparently the camera system didn’t work so well with darker skin. So I like to think that they were giving everyone the middle finger by only letting minorities demo their device on stage. In all honesty… it was probably just a big company being it’s lame politically correct self, but either way they showed that Kinect could overcome any visual hurdle, as well as some audio ones. That girl had to have been picked to demo video chat BECAUSE of her lisp, right?

– “Skittles be careful!”

I was originally going to call this section “You can’t sell me on non-games with adorable Asian kids!” but then I thought about it and… yeah… yeah you can…

It's adorable! And look... a baby tiger, too!

– “Time  for the ‘Squat Punch'”

If you know me… you already know how I feel about attempting to use a casual fitness game to actually get in shape. If you don’t know me… I think it’s dumb. Using it to casually play games that just happen to get you off the couch? Fine. But if you’re genuinely looking to make an active change in your daily health you need more than the “Squat Punch” and a little tai chi. That being said, EA actually does have some cool stuff with their “Active” series, because they integrate weight training and real caloric and heart rate monitoring, blah blah blah. Kinect Fitness looks just as effective as Wii Fit did.

(It didn’t.)

– “The Future of Gaming is Now”

I heard several developers take the Microsoft stage to explain that, thanks to Kinect, technology has finally caught up to the imaginations of the developers. And with games that allow you to race against your friends in an olympic arena by merely running in place from the safety of your living room, who can argue?

Oh…

Wait…